Master Your Memory is full of funny quotes and anecdotes that will keep
you turning the pages. Taking a moment to laugh and enjoy what you're
reading makes it much more relaxing to learn something new.
Here are some jokes from the Internet so you might enjoy a chuckle or two
while you browse this site.
Two very elderly ladies were enjoying the sunshine on a park bench in
Miami. They had been meeting at that park every sunny day for over 12
years... chatting, and enjoying each other''s friendship.
One day, the younger of the two ladies, turns to the other and says,
"Please don''t be angry with me, dear, but I am embarrassed, after all
these years. . .What is your name? I am trying to remember, but I just
can't."
The older friend stares at her, looking very distressed, says nothing for
two full minutes, and finally with tearful eyes, says, "How soon do you
have to know?"
Two elderly gentlemen are playing cards on Saturday evening as they have
done for the past 35 years. Max, the older, had been having problems
remembering what cards were what, and usually needed help from his wife.
At the end of the card game Ed said to Max, "You did very good tonight.
You didn't need any help at all. Why is that?"
Max replied, "Why ever since my wife sent me to that memory school, I
haven't had any problems at all."
"Memory school? What memory school?"
Max thought for a moment, "Oh, what's the name of the red flower with
thorns?"
"A rose?"
"Yeah...that's it!" Max turned to his wife and mumbled, "Hey, Rose! What's
the name of that memory school you sent me to?"
An 80-year-old couple was having problems remembering things so they
decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was
wrong with them.
When they arrived at the doctor's, they explained to the doctor about the
problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple
out, the doctor tells them that they were physically okay but might want
to start writing things down and making notes to help them remember
things.
The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching
TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asks, "Where are you
going?" He replies, "To the kitchen." She asks, "Will you get me a bowl of
ice cream?" He replies, "Sure."
She then asks him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can
remember it?" He says, "No, I can remember that."
She then says, "Well I also would like some strawberries on top. You had
better write that down cause I know you'll forget that." He says, "I can
remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."
She replies, "Well I also would like whip cream on top. I know you will
forget that so you better write it down."
With irritation in his voice, he says, "I don't need to write that down I
can remember that." He then fumes into the kitchen.
After about 20 minutes he returns from the kitchen and hands her a plate
of bacon and eggs.
She stares at the plate for a moment and says, "You forgot my toast."
At 85 years, Morris marries a lovely 25 year old woman. Because her new
husband is so old the woman decides that on their wedding night they
should have separate bedrooms.
She is concerned that the old fellow could overexert himself. After the
wedding festivities she prepares herself for bed and for the knock on the
door she is expecting.
Sure enough the knock comes and there is her groom ready for action. They
unite in conjugal union and all goes well whereupon he takes his leave of
her and she prepares to go to sleep for the night.
After a few minutes there's a knock on the door and there old Morris is
again ready for more action. Somewhat surprised she consents to further
coupling which is again successful after which the octogenarian bids her a
fond good night and leaves.
She is certainly ready for slumber at this point, and is close to sleep,
for the second time when there is another knock at the door and there he
is again fresh as a 25 year old and ready for more.
Once again they do the horizontal boogie. As they're laying in afterglow
the young bride says to him, "I am really impressed that a man your age
has enough juice to go at it three times. I've been with guys less than
half your age who were only good for one time. You're a great lover
Morris."
Morris looks confused, and turns to her and says," I was here already?"
